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Break the Vicious Cycle: Heal from Your Past Relationship Patterns

Relationships endings can be devastating. From an energy standpoint, you may find yourself holding onto anger, hurt, frustration and sadness.

And the worst part? A relationship ending makes you stop because it affects EVERYTHING! Often it puts you into a stuck and holding pattern, which is when most of my clients come to work with me.

They say time heals all things, but it doesn’t heal anything that you don’t DEAL with. Usually when a relationship ends, you blame the other person for all the shortfalls and things that went wrong. While you may be able to do that with one relationship – once it happens again or seems to be a pattern, the responsibility to fix the patterns in your relationships falls 100% onto you since you are the one creating them.

1. Get Objective and Recognize the Patterns

The first thing I help my clients with before JUMPING into another relationship is to get objective and figure out your patterns.

While it is easier to keep blaming others for the relationship fails, nothing will change until you recognize what you keep creating in your relationships and how it affects your partners and your relationship with them.

The inner work here is:

  • Looking at your parent’s marriage. What similarities do you notice in your relationships? What isn’t working anymore for you?
  • How does your family talk to you? How do they treat you? What is similar with your partners?
  • What did people tell you as a child? You are too ____. You always do ____. You can’t ___. How do you talk to yourself because of this? What do you hear your partner saying to you that is similar?
  • How do you treat yourself? What similarities did you notice in your intimate relationships? If you think you aren’t worthy, your partner won’t either.
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One of my clients has a mother who is always manipulating the situation and telling her one thing and everyone else something else about her. So of course, she married a man who did the same thing. Because of these two relationships, my client struggles with feeling that people don’t believe her.

She feels like she is constantly battling the lies her family, ex and his family tell. He had an affair and when she went back to their home state, the rumor mill was saying she had the affair! Because of the work we are doing together, she was able to see what was happening, stand in her power and respond in a different way – one where she was able to speak her truth and smash the lies. But in order to do that, she had to get objective and recognize her long, outdated patterns.

You have to change the patterns or you will keep getting the same results in your relationships.

2. Do the Inner Work to Heal

Time DOES NOT heal all things! I cannot stress this enough. Ignoring your pain and tucking it away to deal with later (aka never) does not make it go away. It just leaves it there to resurface in future relationships as triggers and old stories that keep you stuck.

The passing of time may make it so that you don’t cry as much or get as angry when you talk about it anymore, but the energy remains until you actually CLEAR it out.

You are carrying hurts and pains from relationships in other life experiences, from your childhood and past relationships. I guarantee it. I haven’t met a person yet that was left unscathed because you are taught to get distracted with work, another relationship or keep yourself busy. None of this allows you to process, adjust and move forward freely.

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I have a client that kept going back to her childhood and how her family treated her as the reason she was putting herself last in her relationships. She didn’t feel worthy. But instead of actually healing it, she would say, “This makes me want to cry.” And she would stop there, not do anything to clear it, get teary eyed and literally freeze in that memory. Then she would energetically store all that sadness and worthlessness into her chest and NOTHING was changing. This kept her from moving forward because every time she said that, she got stuck in the moment as a child and nothing changed in her relationships. She was stuck in a vicious cycle of feeling worthless that we had to break by changing her pattern and clearing the energy she was holding onto for decades.

From an energy standpoint, you will carry the energy until you HEAL it, however long that takes.

While you may not have control over what the other person does, you do have control over what you are carrying and holding onto and you can let it go. Here is a simple but powerful practice I teach my clients to help them clear their energy.

3. Create New Relationship Patterns

NO ONE goes into a relationship whole and perfect. You go into relationships to HEAL the things it is time to heal or to support each other with the things you agreed to support each other with before you were born.

You want to stop and change:

  • Old patterns that make you feel awful. Catch yourself in the moment and do something different. That will get you a different result. Clear out the energy that keeps you operating in those self-destructive patterns.
  • Drama – you either add to it, run away from it, or try to be a peace keeper. Be aware of how you respond to drama, what it does to your relationships and make the necessary changes.
  • Communication problems – remember, your partner is NOT a mind reader. Clearly communicate your needs, expectations and boundaries.
  • Being focused on ONLY your needs. Relationships really are a give and take experience with the exception being on your non-negotiables (no cheating, no drugs, etc.) Compromising and meeting each other in the middle is key.
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One of my clients has a habit of falling apart around her birthday. This shows up in her relationships with anger and frustration. She sent her (new at the time) boyfriend a break up text last year on her birthday with all of her demands listed and no discussion – it was simply the end of their relationship. It was the first he had heard of the expectations in the break up text. They did eventually get back together with boundaries and new guidelines for their relationship. This year, those patterns are resurfacing but they are less extreme.

This year she recognizes her birthday patterns. She is now able to stop herself from acting on the self-destructing patterns. She schedules in more self-care, time for energy work and is realizing that everything she seeks really does come from within.

Recognize the old patterns, the ones that make you self-sabotage and self-destruct and shift them in the moment. You know what the old patterns will do, instead it’s time to try something new to get a new result.

I have helped countless women heal past relationships and create a life that they love. They didn’t think it was possible and now they look back at how far they’ve come and they are GRATEFUL for the experience. Now they LOVE their life. You can too!

Heal the past and make room for healthy, positive experiences in your relationships. It really is a game changer!

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Want more relationship support? My book, “Energy Awareness: My Guide to Balanced Relationships” will help you become aware of the energy exchanges in your relationships and balance them.

Lisa Gornall is a Spiritual Medium, Healer and Coach. She is also an author, speaker and offers event support and coaching program support for your clients.

Lisa uses her intuitive abilities to coach successful women at or near their breaking point to reset. Get your head, energy and life on point. Let’s get back to that freedom lifestyle you originally envisioned! Reset.

info@lisagornall.com   www.lisagornall.com  All Rights Reserved Lisa Gornall 2021

An Insider’s Look at My Work as a Spiritual Medium

You’re either drawn to psychics and mediums or you’re not. There is no gray area but when you love them – you LOVE them.

Mediums are also psychics and are here to help you with something big in your life. Whether it’s connecting with someone that has crossed over or healing your energy, the work is more powerful because the way medium’s read, see, feel and work with energy.

If you google mediumship, most of us don’t tell you exactly what we do. We think you just know but we use our abilities in different ways.

I wrote about how I became aware of my abilities as a Spiritual Medium. Now I’m pulling back my curtain and telling you exactly what I can do with my abilities in my work as a Spiritual Medium.

1. My Abilities as a Spiritual Medium

I See Spirits and Energy

Spirits

While I can see, feel, hear and read the messages spirits give me, this is a small portion of the work I do as a Spiritual Medium.

My work isn’t in solving crimes or doing all the communication for you. It’s in helping you connect with them yourself so you can talk with them whenever.

I energetically bring you together in the same space, help you communicate with them directly (which is always the best way) with your newfound abilities and I help you heal anything that is lingering or unsaid.

The spirits always appear. They may not stay long but they always give a message and want you to know how to recognize them when they come back – whether it’s a feeling, a knowing, seeing or hearing them. You have the ability to connect with them too and I help you do that.

Energy

Providing mini sessions at an event I energetically supported in San Diego, November 2019

Energy is anything that gives off energy – people, plants, animals, the Earth.

I have the ability to become ONE with energy. I can feel energy that has been put onto something or someone such as a curse, worrying, or negative energy. I also feel the energy you are storing in your body in my body until it is cleared and aligned. I can also experience your past lives (you’ve had millions of them.)

Typically you store energy until you feel stuck or at your breaking point. I help you reset your energy and tap into your abilities so you can do it as well. I teach you to become aware of the things that are affecting your energy and others like:

  • The energy you are giving off
  • Your energy exchanges
  • Entities, negative energies, vampires, demons (whatever you like to call them – they’re all the same) that you allow to attach to you or come into your space
  • The energy you have stored in your body from this life or a past life experience
  • The energy you have taken on to “help” (but not really) others with their problems
  • What raises and lowers your energy vibration
  • What you store in your body when you’re angry and frustrated to “deal” with later and you never do.
  • Anything that negatively impacts you, your decisions, and how you feel.

To sum it up, I basically work in balancing your energy and getting you back to your natural state – a place of light and love. Added bonus – I do all of this remotely.

I am an Energy Healer

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I see the energy you store, fragment and are ready to heal.

I do this by pulling you out victimhood, self-sabotage, unhealthy patterns, old beliefs, generational energy patterns, negative energy and anything else that tries to lower your vibration.

It starts with getting to the root of the energy that’s guiding you and then clearing out how it is manifesting in your body and your reality. Then we reprogram that area with positive energy and tell the mind what to focus on instead. You become aware of what you’re creating with your thoughts, words and patterns.

You feel like you had a massage but you were never touched. You feel free. Supported. Balanced. And most importantly, you learn what to do to reset your energy and mindset!

I am Psychic

I am psychic but I don’t call myself one because I have no interest in doing psychic readings. There is no power in that for you. That is why I combine my intuitive abilities with coaching and am a Mindset and Energy Coach – to empower YOU!

  • I use my psychic abilities to see your best path and help you get back on it.
  • I can read the people and situations in your life and help you get more objective and clearly see what is going on.
  • I can see your path choices, how things can go, what you should focus on and what it is time for you to heal.
  • I see what you are creating with your thoughts, words and actions and how to shift your reality to what you originally envisioned for yourself.

Free will is always there so my work is about teaching you how to navigate your life and tune into your own intuition, become aware of your gifts and listen to your body.

2. How I Work

I am Always Ready and On

With my abilities, I don’t have any prep that I have to do. I just tune into you and I’m there reading your energy, knowing what I’m here to help you with and ready to go once you tell me what you would like help with. It always comes back to me empowering you.

  • I can work remotely without ever seeing what you look like, what you do or who you are. In 2000 I worked with people on the phone without ever seeing them.
  • I have clients around the world that I don’t work with in person. Most of my work is through video conferencing.
  • I don’t have to see you to read your energy. I don’t research you or touch you. I prefer to not know a thing about you so it doesn’t taint what I’m seeing.
  • I don’t have to have any of your belongings or anyone else’s.
  • I just tune in, read the energy and feel what you are storing in your body. I know what is bothering you and why.
  • When I am working at a mastermind or event and I do individual work, with permission I will hold your hands to align you faster to accommodate our 15 or 30 minute time frame.

It is all about healing what it is time to heal and raising your energy vibration.

I Work in Light

My live event in November 2019 at Four Seasons Aviara

I am constantly in a beam of White Light. If I hear a voice it comes from the light and I hear it very clearly.

All the energy healing I do comes from the light. I am a channel for it. I don’t speak with angels and guides. I am not wired that way. I go straight up and I simply connect and know.

I Know Who to Work with and When

While I am always on and constantly reading energy, I have learned to only pay attention when I’m supposed to help someone with something. This means, I ignore a lot of the things I see and read because I’m not supposed to do anything with it.

I can only help when I am asked to help. You have to be ready.

Some people want to stay where they are. Some people like being stuck. Those aren’t my people. My people are career driven (majority women) at or near their breaking point that are ready to reset and get back to the lifestyle they originally envisioned.

I Empower You through Coaching

Coaching is my method of delivering my abilities because it empowers you and puts you in control of your experience.

I don’t want anyone dependent on me or any other healer, medium or psychic for a decision. You have intuitive abilities – listen to them!

I teach simple practices that are easy to do and the results my clients get are amazing!

While a session here and there was a huge part of my work for over 15 years, now I only work in programs. Why? Because a session here and there while amazing wasn’t helping you move forward. It was just a band aide until you reached a trigger that threw you completely off. By working with me for a set period of time, not only do we hit your goals but you have support for the different triggers you experience throughout the year so you keep up-leveling.

Whether it is hitting 60k months (some of my clients have 100k + months), leaving an abusive relationship, or helping my clients completely reset their lives to get back on track – they get back to their goals and to the original lifestyle they envisioned for themselves.

That doesn’t happen with a session here and there. It’s a commitment. It’s an up-leveling. It’s healing and freeing. It’s the long term work that I am here to teach you and support you with. The results are amazing and life changing.

Balance is Everything

I not only teach balance but I LIVE it!

Energy work at a live event on the beach in Spring 2019

I work with individuals and groups of all sizes. I become one with energy individually and in a group setting and know what to do to help you reset. My work is helping you get your head, energy and life on point.

It wasn’t an easy journey to get to where I am today in my career. Being a Spiritual Medium is absolutely about healing the energy in me so I can do the same for you. I do the energy work I teach every day throughout the day as needed. I also thrive because of my morning and evening routines.

The work I do is physically exhausting. I have to be in a good place physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Boundaries and communication are important in my work. I balance my schedule, eat enough protein, have clear boundaries and make self-care a daily priority.

Balance is key for you too. How different would your life be if you were grounded, focused, aligned and empowered? Imagine being successful in all areas of your life. That’s what I help you do!

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Interested in working with me by joining one of my programs? Sign up for a Connection Call here.

Lisa Gornall is a Spiritual Medium, Healer and Coach. She is also an author, speaker and offers event support and coaching program support for your clients.

Lisa uses her intuitive abilities to coach career driven women at or near their breaking point to reset.

Get your head, energy and life on point. Let’s get back to that freedom lifestyle you originally envisioned! Reset.

info@lisagornall.com   www.lisagornall.com  All Rights Reserved Lisa Gornall 2020

Why You Should Say NO More Often

I bet you say “yes” to things because you think you should.

Perhaps to even make someone else happy (which you don’t have the power to do – so stop doing that!)

You say “yes” for the other person while you inwardly cringe and cross off your list something you really did want to do but now you can’t.

What would change if you said NO instead?

  • Would you have more time?
  • Do more things you actually want to do?
  • Feel better about your schedule?
  • Get some much needed self-care in?

Think about it this way – when you say “no” to something, you are saying “yes” to something for you.

After all, there is only so much time in a day.

I Don’t Have Enough TIME

This is the biggest complaint I hear: “I don’t have enough time.”

Time is a commodity. It is more precious than money because you can’t get more of it.

You spend a lot of your day saying “yes” to things that take you away from the things you actually wanted to do.

When you say “yes” to your already busy schedule, you either have to take out something you really wanted to do or you lose time for yourself at the end of the day.

Right?

But by saying ‘no”, you say yes to that walk, a book, a reasonable bedtime, time to “be” or whatever it is that you want to do for yourself.

See where I’m going with this?

Start Saying “NO”

When someone invites you to do something you DON’T want to do, the best thing you can do is say “no.”

Notice there is no excuse here. You’re not ignoring them or leaving them in limbo. Just say, “No.” Or “No thank you.”

Period.

Here’s the thing, no one wants you at something you don’t want to be at. You mess with the vibe of the event. And when you don’t want to be there, everyone knows you don’t want to be there. So save all this trouble and start saying “no.”

It feels awkward at first but I promise it gets easier once you realize what you can do instead during that time!

Most of the time, they don’t care that you said no. (Now if they pressure you once you say you don’t want to go, then you should really look at why they’re trying to pressure you and decide to go from there. Maybe even read this article on boundaries.)

The bonus in saying “no” is that you have more time and energy to actually do things you want to do. Maybe you get to sleep at a decent hour. Or you get to read a book you’ve been wanting to start.

Pause Before You Say “Yes”

Before you say “yes”, ask yourself do I:

  • Want to do this?
  • Have time to do this?
  • Have the energy to do this?
  • Have to give up something else I want to do in order to do this?

Don’t respond until you’ve decided if you really want to do it or not – but don’t forget to respond. (Not responding puts a strain on your energy.)

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Remember, you get to decide how to spend your time.

Spend your time wisely. Say “no” more often so you can say “yes” to the things you really want to do.

Lisa Gornall is a Spiritual Medium, Healer and Coach. She is also an author, speaker and offers event support.

Lisa uses her intuitive abilities to coach career driven women at or near their breaking point to reset. Get your head, energy and life on point. Let’s get back to that freedom lifestyle you originally envisioned!

info@lisagornall.com   www.lisagornall.com  All Rights Reserved Lisa Gornall 2020

Fear or Abundance – What is Running Your Business

It’s very easy to step into fear right now but there is NO POWER in a place of fear. Nor can you successfully run your business from a place of fear or make a positive impact on the world.

What you focus on, you attract to you, regardless of what it is. If you’re afraid, you will attract more of what you’re afraid of and that includes what you are attracting into your business.

Let’s start with the definitions:

  • Fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
  • Intuition: the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.
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Entrepreneurs navigate fears and intuition from business conception to where your business is today and unfortunately, that energy lingers without even realizing it.

You have taken risks and done things that have forced you to overcome some of your fears, but I always find that there are fears subconsciously guiding your decisions, often holding you back. Add in what is happening right now with this pandemic virus, and I guarantee you have fears to clear.

Running your business from your fears makes being an entrepreneur harder than it has to be and energetically it affects your abundance. It’s time to step away from the fears and focus on following your intuition. After all, being a successful entrepreneur is all about personal development.

1. Get Objective

The first thing you need to do is get objective.

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Fears will sound more negative and are a lower energy vibration filled with can’t, shouldn’t, don’t and even “that won’t work!”

Intuition will be clear. It is a higher energy vibration focused on moving forward filled with guidance, next steps, and knowing your best path.

  • What is guiding you to make the decisions you are making in your business?
  • Is this supporting or hurting your business? (really get CLEAR here)
  • What should I be doing differently to create more impact and income?

This will allow you to step into your power and make a decision that is best for your business and not just keep on doing what you’ve always done.

Doing what you’ve always done will not take you to the next level in your business – especially if you are driven by fear. Instead keep shifting your mindset and letting go of your fears.

2. Let Go

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Your intuition will guide you onto YOUR best path and your fear will keep you stuck every time.

Let go of your fears around finances, any rough patches in your entrepreneurial journey and the uncertainty of how current life events COULD affect your business.

What energy work and letting go do you need to do? Make sure you’re doing it daily as needed. Here is a quick letting go video to support you as well.

3. Listen to Your Intuition

Fear will always hold you back, it’s not what helped you start your business. Your intuition did and it is always guiding you on your best path FORWARD!

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How is your intuition guiding you?

Do you have a feeling, hear it, see it? Listen! This is your special navigation to help you do your work in a bigger way and to help you connect with the people you have to connect with.

You can also know what your intuition looks like for you by noticing when you ignore it, that you were being guided. It seems backwards, but if you ignore that gut feeling or insight, you will find yourself saying, “I knew that was going to happen.” Going forward, instead of ignoring that feeling, knowing, etc – next time pay attention and see how things shift forward for you.

Your intuition will guide you in the best direction for success in all areas of your life. Stop ignoring it and listen!

4. Do Your Abundance Energy Work

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Whatever you focus on, you will bring more of to you whether that is lack or abundance. I promise you, abundance is easier, especially with all the fears and negativity out there RIGHT now!

Abundance practices are more than manifesting and gratitude journals. It requires energy work. Check out my energy work tips to bring in more abundance here.

It always starts with being objective. From there, look at what is guiding you. Do energy work throughout each day to help you get clear and make your decisions from a better place energetically.

If you would like a daily reference guide to help you reclaim your time, relationships, inner game and energy, you can get it here.

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Lisa Gornall is a Spiritual Medium, Healer and Coach. She is also an author, speaker and offers event support.

Lisa uses her intuitive abilities to coach career driven women at or near their breaking point to reset. Get your head, energy and life on point. Let’s get back to that freedom lifestyle you originally envisioned!

info@lisagornall.com   www.lisagornall.com  All Rights Reserved Lisa Gornall 2020