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High Performer’s Top 4 Work Complaints & How to FIX Them

High performers are naturally fulfilled and engaged in their work. It’s why they excel and work in ways that other team members can’t.

You can’t make or train a person to become a high performer. Workers are high performers or they aren’t. So replacing a high performer is costly to every company.

High performers are internally driven by something I call their Success Wound, which is their energetic drive to do more, impact more, and even create more. The problem is that the Success Wound can drive them to burnout, which directly impacts their health, their team and the company.

I created my Success Wound™ training in 2019 after working with high performers for almost 2 decades. Some like to blame the high performer for overworking while others like to blame the work environment. My experience and the polls I’ve done show that it’s BOTH.

A work environment can definitely encourage and aid in a high performer overworking.

Having company wellness in house that high performers don’t have time to use isn’t company wellness.

But if you have a high performer in a company that implements the changes when I work with their teams to create sustainable success and work-life balance, you create workplace wellness in that team.

When you have workplace wellness, you create a work environment that is supportive and in tune with the needs of your top talent.

High Performer’s 4 TOP Work Complaints and How to FIX Them

Are any of these happening in your company?

Complaint 1 : No Time and Energy In or Out of Work

This is a problem at first for people outside the company – friends, family spouses. When I used to offer meditation at 5 star spas, the spouses would complain about the overworking and how it affected them. This will eventually affect your high performer and possibly their performance at work as they are encouraged to have a life outside the office at another company.

Work-life balance is necessary to retain your top talent.

You may think it’s great that they’re always available and working whenever you ask them to – but this is a path to turnover and burnout.

Result when I work with your team: I help your team create sustainable work-life balance to keep your people happy and reduce stress. A happy life will affect your high performers in and out of work. This is how they recharge and stay creative and productive.

Complaint 2: Toxic Work Environment

Toxic work environments are typically caused by leaders, directors and managers. Who is sending the messages and emails AFTER company hours? Who expects the team to respond to those requests and what happens if they don’t? Who is giving them more to do than is possible in their job title and position stated work hours?

Do you offer workplace wellness programs in house but your high performers can’t access it because their work load is too full? Or are they afraid to take advantage of it because they know when lay offs come, they’ll be let go for trying to have a more balanced work-life? Or is your workplace wellness a waste of their time because it’s not helpful to them?

Work fires unnecessarily increase stress and drama in the workplace.

Is there always a FIRE? All of these things add to a toxic work environment which eventually leads to your top talent taking their skills to another company to get a better title and compensation.

Result when I work with your team: I support your team with healthy boundaries and clear communication to foster successful relationships. This creates an environment where your team thrives and you become a place that people want to work at. You want this!!

Complaint 3: Overwhelmed and Exhausted

This is what happens when your team members continually run on empty with time and energy. Often this happens when you are short staffed and your high performers have to pick up even more work. Or when you’re on another tight deadline and this must be done immediately plus their other roles and resposnsibilities.

You do not want your top talent overwhelmed and exhausted. This means they have been under stress for too long.

Overworking is what high performers are TAUGHT to do.

When your high performers start getting sick and are out with injuries and surgeries – this is your big red flag to do something differently now. This is when they start to re-evaluate their work and career, I’ve seen it many times.

Result when I work with your team: I support your team by giving them tools to improve happiness, retention and engagement. They end up thriving and in roles that they love in your company.

Complaint 4: Not Feeling Satisfied or Fulfilled in Role

High performers get bored when the work is too repetitive or unfulfilling.

They lack fulfillment when they’re not feeling appreciated or they’re tired of feeling stressed out all the time.

High performers are naturally fulfilled and engaged in their work. It’s why they excel and work in ways that other team members can’t.

How is appreciation showed at your company?

If your high performers are checking out and doing less than normal or making mistakes atypical to them, this is a big red flag for you that they may not be staying with your company much longer.

Result when I work with your team: I give your team effective and time efficient practices to feel fulfilled so they are more present, focused and engaged with the team. As they thrive, the whole company feels that impact.

What are the problem areas in your company?

High performers are your most valuable team members. They get tasks done, they go above and beyond and they thrive in the right team environments. What needs to be done for your high performers to stay and thrive?

3 Tips to KEEP Your High Performers Engaged

It’s the holiday season and end of the year. How is your high performance team doing?

Most CEOs and founders don’t know the real answer, even if they THINK they do. There is no cookie cutter process or formula that works with high performers because they’re driven for different reasons.

This becomes a problem because you don’t know if your high performers are staying or leaving.

The truth for most high performers is that they want to STAY.

They don’t want to be bothered with all that changing jobs requires. They will stay until they feel like they have to go. Often when they leave they’re beyond done with the company.

I am a high performer that has experienced burnout twice in my career. I can recognize an overworked high performer immediately and give them practical tips and tools to help them prevent burnout and stress leave.

3 Tips to Keep Your High Performers Engaged

High performers change jobs when:

1. Their Title and Compensation are not in Alignment with their Results

Compensation is as equally important to a high performer as their title is. If you don’t compensate them AND give them the correct title for the work they do for you, they will eventually take their experience to another company that will.

Overworking is NOT a long term solution for anyone on the team.

I cannot stress this enough – the #1 tip to keep you high performer engaged is to make sure their job title accurately describes the work they do and the compensation equals the work they do.

If you really like the drive of a high performer on your team, tell them. Give them bonuses or extra PTO time. Make sure that your high performers know that they are valuable to your company and that you appreciate them.

I can’t tell you how many high performers leave because of compensation and title alone. Make sure your people are taken care of and that will give them a reason to stay.

2. The Work Environment is Unrealistically Demanding

This is the fastest way to drive your high performer to some sort of medical or stress leave or burnout.

If a high performer complains, LISTEN. If they’re complaining, they’re done.

Just because your high performers CAN get things done on a deadline does not mean to keep them in constant deadlines.

If you need to hire more people, hire more people. If you have a high performer that’s doing the job of 2 or more people, make sure that you compensate them for performing the multiple roles in a company.

The more stressful your work environment, the more likely that your high performance team won’t be as high performing as you’d like.

Stressful environments are ones that encourage long hours and heavy workloads. No worker is meant to function in a stressful environment long term.

This will directly affect your current team members as well as word getting out that you overwork your top talent. It’ll make both hiring and retention difficult.

3. They’re not Fulfilled or Engaged with the Work Anymore

Why do you care if they’re fulfilled or engaged? Their productivity drops and often times, they’re looking for another job.

You don’t want your high performers checked out. If they start doing less, they’re done.

What do you do as the leader?

If a high performer is bored, it’s time for a new title and compensation package that matches their experience and skill level. High performers don’t get bored unless the work is too repetitive or unfulfilling.

Or it could also mean that either they’re not feeling appreciated or they’re tired of feeling stressed out all the time.

High performers are naturally fulfilled and engaged in their work. It’s why they excel and work in ways that other team members can’t.

And just a reminder that you can’t make a high performer. Workers are high performers or they aren’t. So replacing a high performer is costly to every company.

What changes need to be made in your workplace?

What are you seeing and noticing with your high performers?

If you think, oh I have workplace wellness in place and your high performers are NOT taking advantage of it – that’s a problem. WHY aren’t they taking advatage of that, especially when they’re told this is to prevent burnout?

If you need help, schedule a call with me to see how we can increase retention, productivity and have a happy team.

All of these are easy fixes. Make them and they will happily stay.

4 Signs Your High Performers are on a Path to Burnout

What are the signs your high performers aren’t doing “okay” at work anymore?

How close are they to burnout?

The work environment is a big part of how much your high performers will overwork.

Is overworking encouraged with:

Questions and meetings outside of work hours?

Not encouraging them to take true vacations and uninterrupted time off from work? Work travel on weekends?

Giving them more work than they can humanly handle?

Support questions they don’t answer honestly as they continue to overwork to try to make a dent in their workload?

None of these are good and will lead high performers onto a path to burnout. No one wants that.

As a Spiritual Medium and Energy Strategist, I have personally experienced burnout twice in my career. I let myself down, my team and my family.

Burnout, stress leave and constantly being overworked are completely preventable with the right support. I can help.

I’m going to share with you the 4 signs I’ve personally noticed that tells me a High Performer is starting to check out and burnout. Let’s dive in!

4 Signs Your High Performers are on a Path to Burnout:

High performers aren’t known to do these things, so if they are, they are your warning signs.

1. They Start Using their PTO

High performers typically lose PTO from not using it. If they’re starting to use it, while that is good, do a solid check in on them and make sure they’re doing okay. This is your first red flag as an employer.

I had a client that started using her PTO to extend weekends and for job interviews. You want to check in immediately if you see this change.

Most high performers DO NOT want to leave. They will stay if they are compensated accurately for their work, given the correct title for the work they are performing daily and have a proper workload for their role.

2. Getting Sick or Injured Often

I see this one all the time. Often the only way a high performer gets to rest is if they get sick or injured. It was true for me and it’s true for your high performers that don’t have support. While these aren’t things they do intentionally, these are things that take them down.

I had a client this year that had to have a double knee surgery. On top of that, she kept getting sick with everything from Covid to Sinus Infections and then had complications from both surgeries. All of which made her frustrated because she couldn’t work.

She was the definition of overworked. As she started to realize rest was key to her healing with me, she started to find ways to recharge on the weekend instead of working more. Both knees are now healed. But she was given a lot of physician ordered time off in the process. She didn’t even get to have fun. All she did was heal.

Think of work-life balance as an energy balance for your high performers. Their energy is measured like the battery on a cell phone. The less energy they have, the more they’re performing on a deficit. Eventually they’re going to have to STOP and recharge. You don’t want that.

3. Performance Decrease

There is a point where the high performer realizes that doing more isn’t the answer because they keep getting more to do. The list doesn’t end and the pile keeps growing, often more than other team members.

They feel overwhelmed, exhausted and at their breaking point – these are their words by the way. This is when you’ll notice them missing deadlines, performing less and caring less about what they’re getting done. These are all really bad signs if you want to keep this top employee.

When high performers start to drop the ball or decline new assignments, chances are they are in the process of accepting a new position somewhere else. This happens because they’ve already decided to leave your company and they are starting to guide their energy into the excitement of the new position and company.

If you discuss the performance decrease with them and they are not seeking out a new position, be wary that they are on a path to stress leave or burnout – both are bad for everyone on their team.

4. High Performers START Asking for Support

High performers should ask for support often when their workload isn’t manageable. But they don’t. They work longer hours, start doing stuff on the weekend and before you know it, they’re working more hours than many of their team members on their path to burnout.

Asking for help or support is often a high performer’s last ditch effort to stay in the company or in the position. When they start to ask for support when they never have before – this needs to become your top priority to support them.

I know because I’ve been helping them individually for decades and this is one of the things I have them start to do before they start to look for employment elsewhere. If your high performer is asking for support, stop overloading them with more tasks and find help for them on the team immediately if you want to keep this employee.

Work-life balance is the only way forward to creating sustainable success and work-life balance. You want your employees to have both of these things to retain them.

When you tell me sustainable work-life balance isn’t possible, I’m going to help your team find that belief and change it. Burnout and stress leave are completely preventable. Support your high performers with individualized support – I can guarantee you, they need it.

What is Driving High Peformers to Overwork?

Do you hit a work goal and move immediately onto the next one?

Are you driven to succeed but find yourself unfulfilled no matter how much success you reach?

Is your overworking making you feel bitter and resentful as it takes a toll on your personal life?

As a high performer, you push yourself hard at work and you get things done. You set goals and move quickly onto the next one. You’re a rockstar at work until you start to feel unfulfilled, bitter and resentful.

Have you stopped and asked what are you proving to yourself and to others through your work? Most of my clients didn’t…until they realized that how they were working was no longer sustainable and they were on a path to burnout.

What I’ve found through my decades working with high performers is that this drive may have gotten you to the level of success you have today BUT it’s no longer working. Now it’s pushing you on an endless journey of overworking and overachieving…without enjoying the success you’ve created. This leads you to feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and stuck in a vicious cycle that feels pointless at this point in your life. I mean, you are successful. You just don’t feel like you are.

It’s time for sustainable success AND work-life balance.

I discovered years ago that what is driving you to your breaking point is what I call your Success Wound. I’ve created Success Wound™ offers that are trainings, workshops, programs and retreats because there is no cookie cutter solution to healing a high performer’s Success Wound. Let’s dig in…

What is YOUR Success Wound?

Your Success Wound is your energetic drive for more.

No matter how much money and success are in your life, it’s not enough. It keeps you from enjoying your life and drives you to continually achieve.

It’s your constant push and drive for more. More, more, more.

It leaves you feeling unfulfilled and stuck in a vicious cycle that will lead you to burnout or stress leave if left in charge.

Where did Your Success Wound come from?

It starts in your childhood. You either come in with this belief and it makes no sense to anyone that knows you. OR you learned it from family, teachers, experiences and friends when you were little and you’re still carrying that with you today. This is why I call it a wound. It’s a deep, energetic drive that is driving you to prove yourself.

Your Success Wound HAD a purpose. It did drive you and got you to where you are today. But now your Success Wound is preventing you from ENJOYING your success in and out of work.

The continual drive for more is no longer exciting or working for you. Instead it’s keeping you from feeling like you actually do have it all.

What is the energy of your Success Wound?

Your Success Wound is what energetically drives you and it shows up as proving yourself.

I’ve discovered in all my work with high performers in over twenty years, that you’re proving at least one of three things. I am worthy. I am enough. I am love. – it can be any combination of these things. 1 -2 – or all 3. Typically it’s two things.

Also, most high performers don’t feel supported, which just fuels the Success Wound.

I have a high performing client that reached 7 figures in her business last year. Her response as she was crying – I thought I would hit this milestone and feel like I did it. I made it. But nothing feels different.

My response – you won’t feel successful when your Success Wound is still in charge. And it was. We’ve since then created a way for her to create sustainable success, have work-life balance and she has the tools to continue to heal layers of her Success Wound when it appears.

How long does it take to heal your Success Wound?

My training on the Success Wound™ is at a minimum an hour to help you know the root of what’s driving you. In my programs, we spend time healing it and as it’s in layers, layers will appear at different times for you to heal.

It isn’t going to be an automatic release. It’s deep. It’s been in charge for decades if not longer.

It’s how you operate. It’s how you work, it’s ingrained in your energy, responses, your relationships, your goals and your dreams. It’s why you overachieve and it impacts all areas of your life.
So we obviously can’t get to the root of your Success Wound here but ask yourself what is driving you to do more, make more, achieve more? I’ll also give you a video to do some energy work to start to heal it. And here’s a video I did years ago that tells you more about how I discovered the Success Wound.

How are you proving that you’re enough in your work? Or worthy? Or love?

Who told you that you weren’t these things? That you had to do more?

Where does that come from? How long have you been doing it? Do you still want to do it?

Who else do you know that over achieves? And to help you look at your situation more objectively, what does their life look like right now? That’s always a great way to get clarity on what you want to do more or less of in your life. Do you want your life to be like theirs?

Your Success Wound started in your childhood. Some of you came in with those beliefs. Regardless of how yours started, it’s layered into your energy and it comes out as an overachieving, high performer that doesn’t feel supported and overworks. And if you stay on this course, it will lead you to your breaking point.

Once you know what you’re proving, you can recognize it and pivot in the moment.

What does your Success Wound look like at work? How does it affect your personal life? What do you want to do differently?

Hitting your breaking point is not a badge of honor.

There is no reward for burnout. Or overworking. Or feeling bitter and resentful about your work.

While the Success Wound is what drives you to overwork, if you put yourself in a work environment that takes advantage of your overworking – that is a fast recipe for stress leave or burnout. Know what drives you so you can stop proving it. No one believes it when you try to prove it anyhow. Stop overworking. It’s not good for you or your work.

7 Tips to Have MORE Energy to Get Through Your Workday

Do you hit a dip in your energy at work every day at 3:00? You probably even wake up feeling low energy.

As a high performer that has a tendency to overwork, you’re typically spending more energy than you’re replacing each day.

Think about your energy like you do any of your batteries.

At some point, you stop using the device so it can get a full recharge. When do you do that for your body? And the more important question – when do you let yourself FULLY recharge?

I know what it’s like to overwork and run below empty. I’ve reached my breaking point twice in my career overworking as a high performer. I guide my high performing clients to create sustainable work/life balance in their lives.

7 Tips to Have More Energy to Get Through Your Workday

As you go through this list, note what is the most important to you AND what you don’t think is a priority as well.

1. Have a start time for your workday.

Everyday have a set time or a moment where you actually start working. This should not be when you first wake up. Be intentional when you wake up so you create a calm and balanced start to your day that can only make your productivity even better during your work day.

I have a client that woke up and started thinking about work. She was EXHAUSTED. Now she has a set start day each day and this has been a game changer for her in her productivity and energy levels.

2. Take your breaks.

You are not given breaks to work through them. Obviously if you’re on a roll and knocking things out, that’s not the best time to take a break. BUT when you find yourself getting tired, your mind starts wandering, you’re hungry, need to go to the bathroom, etc. use that time to take a break. Breaks allow you to recharge, reassess what you’re working on and create better results. Take them!

Most of my clients don’t take breaks before working with me. I get it! You get things done and more things appear. There are more things to do than time. But you’re a human, your body cannot sit at the computer for too long – plus your productivity goes down. Breaks are good.

Go for a quick walk. Stop and smell the flowers. Go outside for a minute. Whatever you do – take your breaks!

3. Eat your lunch WITHOUT working.

The majority of my clients either skip lunch altogether and find themselves eating junk at 3 o’clock or they work through lunch.

If you take your lunch break and work through it – you have a working lunch which is okay once in awhile but not everyday.

Lunch is a time to fuel your body, recharge, reassess your day and reprioritze tasks when you come back from lunch with a fresh perspective.

4. Have an end time for your workday.

Having an end time for your workday is essential so you STOP working. If you don’t do this, you’ll find yourself working weird hours and when you shouldn’t be. I can’t tell you the last time I had a client start working with me that had a STOP time on their workday.

What you don’t finish today, you can do tomorrow or another day. You are here for more than your work. Plus when you stop working, you give yourself time to play, recharge, relax, etc and that allows you to come back to work the next day more productive.

It doesn’t matter if the end time is the same everyday or set on certain days. Have an end time. This will help you prevent burnout.

5. Do at least one thing everyday that brings you joy.

I know this is hard for my high performers to even bring to mind when asked what brings them joy, but it’s very necessary. What are you working so hard for?

Again, you are here for more than your work. When work is your hyper focus, it’s hard to know what outside of work would bring you joy or happiness but in order to have work-life balance, there must be a life part happening.

Try new things, do things that make you happy. Play. Have something to do other than work outside your work hours. Give yourself something to look forward to – that’ll help you stop working.

6. Get enough sleep at night.

One of the big areas my high performers try to make up on time is by skipping sleep. As you know, the more sleep you get, the better you feel, the better you respond, the more productive you are.

One of my clients would read instead of sleep once the kids and husband were in bed. It was her time to do something for just her. The problem – she wasn’t getting the sleep she needed at night. The book would pull her in and she’d be up way later than she wanted to be and she was exhausted the next day. That affected her patience, her productivity and was an old pattern she was done repeating. Now she has the tools to get to bed at a time that supports her AND normal hours to read and do things just for her.

Sleep is a great way to recharge your body. Don’t skimp on this. Especially since lack of sleep can add to stress, something else you’re trying to reduce.

7. Make self care a priority.

One of my favorite ways to recharge and reset – out in nature.

Self care is HOW you recharge. This is what stops you from feeling overworked, overwhelmed and exhausted.

I find that a lot of high performers don’t know what counts as self-care. I define it as an activity that gives you energy. It has nothing to do with work or taking care of anyone or anything else. It is purely for you to recharge your energy.

Getting your hair or nails done while checking messages or emails is not going to count. Going for a walk without checking on anything work related does count.

Ideally, I’d love for you to implement every tip I just went over immediately. But I am very realistic since I work with very busy high performers. I’d love for you to pick one thing from this list and start doing that tomorrow. Tell me what you’re going to do tomorrow below, I’m holding you accountable.

Now look at what you didn’t think was a priority from the list above and dive deep and ask yourself why that isn’t a priority for you.

Every tip I gave you is very realistic and every high performer I work with is doing every single one of these things and noticing a huge difference in their lives.

Remember, overworking does not give you more energy. It spends your energy, no matter how much you love your work. The more energy you overuse each day, the less energy you start off with the next morning. This continues to compound until you reach your breaking point or until you burnout. Burnout is completely preventable.

How to: Turn Off Work & STOP Thinking About it

Do you find yourself working in the evening? On the weekends? And even on holidays and vacations?

As a high performer, you have to turn work OFF! If you don’t, you will keep finding your thoughts moving back to what you have to do in your non-work hours.

Let me start off by saying, I’ve been there. I found myself overworking in every single one of my jobs. And I’m sure you’ve heard me say this before but I pushed myself to overwork twice in my career because once wasn’t enough. Now I consider myself a successful high performer and I guide other high performers to be this as well. How do we get you to be one too? You have to turn work off and STOP thinking about it.

WHY are You Overworking?

You’re being driven by what I call your Success Wound™. Your Success Wound is your endless inner drive to do more and make more.

Over the last five years, I’ve written articles, I’ve done podcasts and videos to help you start to recognize and begin to heal your Success Wound. Here’s my most recent Success Wound video to help you start to recognize what your endless, inner drive here is. It’s one of three things, you’re proving: I am worthy, I am enough or I am love. Any combination or just one of these is ready to be addressed so you can start healing it and stop overworking.

Instead of Overworking…

1. Have your WHY to STOP working defined.

As a high performer, if you don’t have anything else to do, your default is work. I hear this ALL the time. While you enjoy getting things done and you love your work, you are absolutely here for more than your work.

What to do: Define your WHY. To play, to spend time with loved ones, to take care of your body, to learn a new hobby – your why for life outside of work has to be more important than your why for overworking. Make your why something you want to do, something that seems fun or exciting. Find a new hobby that’s exciting for you – something that you’re not going to want to work through.

2. RECHARGE so you don’t burn out.

You aren’t a machine. Even if you love your work, you’re still spending over 100% of your energy there each day, that means you start the next day out with less than 100% energy. This continues on and on.

So many of my clients come to me exhausted and overwhelmed – putting work and other family committments ahead of their own needs. This is not sustainable and a fast path to burnout.

What to do: Block time on your schedule for you to play and recharge, to enjoy this life you’ve been so busy creating. Activities that recharge you are considered self-care. These are activities that give your body and mind more energy: getting enough sleep, taking a nap, eating lunch, eating foods that support your body, getting a massage or facial, exercising, being out in nature, etc.

3. Make your relationships a priority.

Who nags you and tells you to stop working? They’re telling you this is a problem, listen. So many clients have complained to me about their partners nagging them. Do NOT ignore this or brush it off. They are communicating to you and asking you for a change. Make it!

What to do: Block out time in your schedule to spend with them UNITERRUPTED. Spend time with people that give you energy, that do fun things with you and make you happy. Enjoy this time with your loved ones and the memories you’ll make together.

4. You’re here for more than your work.

No one says on their deathbed, I’m so glad I overworked. Instead they talk about what they missed out on by working so much. Don’t do that to yourself.

What to do: be as passionate about your life outside of work as you are about your career. Schedule the things on your big to do list so you actually do them. Celebrate your wins and success. Love your life – you’re so busy creating it, be just as busy LOVING it.

You’re only paid to work so many hours. Work those hours and then STOP.

End of Workday Routine to STOP Overworking

How do you create closure to your workday in a way that stops overworking and thinking about work?

By having an end of the the workday routine. This will help you create closure around your workday AND help you stop thinking about work.

Look at your calendar for today. Anything you didn’t complete, move to another day and STOP thinking about it. It’s on your calendar, it’ll get done.

Look at your calendar for tomorrow. Any changes? Anything to add? Now you don’t have to think about your workday tomorrow. You know what’s on your schedule, you’ve adjusted it, let it go.
Say, “My work day is done. I did what I could. Today’s work is complete. Everything else will get done at the perfect time. I am off and now I recharge.”

Let go of work. Let go of work as you drive home. And if you work from home or once you get home from work, go for a short walk. Change the scenery so you can shift your energy. Be intentional in letting go of all your work stress so you don’t carry it over into your personal time.

As you move into your life time of your work/life balance, what do you want to do with the rest of the day? How do you want to spend your time? Exercise, meet someone for dinner, play, do something fun, or read a book. Really, there is no limit to what you can do here as long as it isn’t work related.

Sustainable work-life balance is KEY to create a life that you LOVE. Remember, no matter how much you love your work, you’re still here for more than your work.

3 Tips to Deal with Toxic Co-workers that DRAIN You

Do you have a co-worker, team member or leader that brings everyone down?

When you have to be near them, they affect you. Your energy is affected by those around you.

You can try to avoid these negative and toxic coworkers if at all possible but they still affect you. What do you do?

I was recently asked on a podcast interview, how to deal with a toxic co-worker and my answer wasn’t what he typically hears as a response. The only way to deal with a toxic co-worker is by not letting them have ACCESS to your energy.

One of the most important things for you to do is to pay attention to your energy.

Who just dumped into your energy field? Who just lowered your vibration? Who just made you feel awful?

Here’s the thing, no matter where you are or how toxic a work environment can be, you ALWAYS have control over your thoughts, words, actions and your energy.

I’ve worked with my fair share of toxic co-workers and leaders in my career. I find the best way to approach this is by being aware of your energy and not letting them impact yours.

3 Tips for Dealing with Toxic Co-workers that DRAIN You

1. Pay attention to your energy.

How is your energy? Did you get enough sleep last night? Did you skip any meals? Are you having any relationship problems? Is something bothering you?

I ask, because all these things affect your energy. If your energy isn’t balanced, aligned or grounded, you will be more easily triggered and your toxic co-workers can easily affect you. You want to make sure you’re doing what you can to be in a good place energetically. Make sure your body feels taken care of, be in a good place with your relationships, make self-care a priority.
If you know something negatively impacts your energy, limit exposure to it. And the flip side, do more things that give you positive energy.

It’s a good idea to start your day with a meditation, even a quick one so that when you get to work, you are starting strong. Here’s a 5 minute meditation to help you start your workday.
When your energy in a good place because you’ll not only respond better to a toxic co-worker or leader but you’ll feel better. And this really is everything.

2. Don’t let their energy come into yours.

Imagine that when you have an interaction with someone, your energy mixes together, it kinda blends together during that interaction.
You really don’t want to do this with a toxic co-worker or leader. You do not want to take any of their energy on. You also don’t want to build an energetic bubble, wall or fortress to protect you as these all use your energy and not in the best way.

Instead, imagine it not being able to come at you or towards you. It’s their energy. Let them keep it. This prevents their energy from mingling with yours and makes them have to stay in the energetic place they’ve chosen. When they mix with your energy, it makes them feel better. But what they really need to do is make some real changes in their life and stay out of your energy.
This is one of the most important things my clients learn to do when dealing with a toxic co-worker. It’s an easy way to keep your energy clear, elevated and focused.

3. Clear your energy.

If you feel their energy bringing you down, clear out any energy you’ve picked up from them. Notice when you’ve been near them and your energy drops – this is your sign to clear your energy. It takes a few seconds to do in the moment and here’s HOW to clear and reprogram your energy. You can do this silently, anywhere to clear your energy. The sooner you do it, the better you will feel.

Typically a toxic co-worker is something you have to go to HR and deal with or to your manager or leader. But if you are in a good place, they won’t have any power over you or your energy. This is best for you. Change your dance with how you spend your energy with them and what energy you allow them to have access to.

Toxic co-workers and leaders are difficult to work with and they can make you miserable. I don’t want that for you, no one wants that foryou. It’s so easy to change the energy interaction that you have with them instead. They probably won’t even be able to explain what’s changed.

How to Stop Burnout at Work for High Performers

How do you keep your high performer from burning out in YOUR work environment?

There are many consultants out there trying to help you have a high performance team. This isn’t what your high performers need. They are naturally going to perform. It’s innately who they are.

What they need to learn is to create balance in their work environment so they can continue to perform consistently. That’s where the leadership comes in.

High performers are invaluable to your company.
You know this and you want to retain them.

High performers are good at what they do – they strive for excellence. They often get more tasks delegated to them because they’ll somehow produce and get it done.
They even volunteer to do more because it helps them feel more successful. They’re the ones that will pick up the slack of other team members who are not optimally performing (I like to call these workers the mooches of the high performers).

And high performers see what needs to get done and they do it.
They will try and do it all, it’s what they naturally do.

But eventually they will hit their breaking point.
You may recognize this as someone being forced to take sick leave because of an acute illness, sustaining an injury, personal reasons that impact the quality of their work and ultimately burnout aka stress leave.

Because your high performer will be forced to take time away from work to heal and they are inherently driven, they will hit their breaking point more than once until they realize how to create a sustainable work/life balance.

As a Spiritual Medium and Energy Strategist, I know what is driving your high performer to overwork until they reach burnout. I’ve driven myself to burnout twice in my career, because that’s what high performers do when they’re not in balance.

2 Causes for High Performer Burnout in the Work Environment

Part of the problem is what I call their Success Wound™, their endless drive to do more, where they prove their worth and more. And this WILL push them to their breaking point.
It’s also the work environment that encourages a high performer to overwork and burnout.
I can talk to high performers all day about what to do to create sustainable work/life balance, but part of what has to change is in the work environment.

How to STOP Burnout in the Work Environment
Step 1 – Recognize your high performers.

Stop letting them overwork and not compensating them more than the other workers for it. This is what leads to them feeling bitter and resentful and moving to another company.

Give them credit for going above and beyond, rewards for taking on extra tasks. You can give them extra vacation time or personal days, a company trip or bonuses for all that they’ve done.

Make them feel seen, heard and appreciated. They need this from the company and their leaders. They’re actively looking for recognition. Give it to them. They are your best performers and you want them to stay and be healthy.

Step 2 – Stop overworking them.

I don’t know a single high performer whose workload is doable. This is why they overwork, to get it done. It can’t be done in their typical work hours, so they have to come in early, work late and work through lunch. Please stop.

You know that their workload is already full. If you give them more to do because you know they’ll do it, this is part of the problem that leads them to burnout. This doesn’t just happen one time. It’s every week, for months with no end in sight.

I’ve had clients tell me,”It’s just until we hire my replacement that I have to do both jobs.” Or, “They can’t find anyone to help me, so I have to get it done.”

My high performing clients are getting more tasks and assignments that aren’t possible to complete in their set work hours. This isn’t the high performers problem that you’re short staffed or the other workers aren’t doing their work. But overworking and taking on all this extra work is how they burnout.

Step 3 – Honor their time AWAY from work. They need to recharge. They give 200% at work everyday and often still check emails and messages in their off hours – because you give it to them. STOP.

You pay them to work certain hours and they work really hard for you. Encourage them to not check company emails and messages by NOT sending them. Let them rest and recharge in their not scheduled work time so they continue to have the energy and health to be the high performers that they are.

Create the Change for Your High Performers in the Company Culture

We like to blame the high performer for burning out:

They didn’t know when to stop working.
They love to overwork.
We were surprised to hear their marriage fell apart?
We were surprised to hear they were struggling with alcohol.
We offer them beverages, snacks and even lunch.
This is bigger than the high performer and their Success Wound.

If you look at the company culture, how do you encourage your high performer to overwork? How many of your high performers are sick, have relationship problems or even worse – don’t have a life outside of work.

The high performers will perform. They are innately driven by their Success Wound.

As a balanced high performer that helps other high performers create a sustainable work/life balance, we have to address the problems in the work environment that encourage and expect this overworked and over driven behavior to their literal breaking point.

High performers are your most valuable and innovative workers. You want to retain them at your company and you don’t want to pay for sick leave due to burnout.

How to Stop Overworking – 5 Tips

If you’re giving everything to work and don’t have energy or time left to play and relax, I wrote this for you!

When your work to do list is overfull, there seems to be only one solution – to keep working through the pile. But what I’ve found is that the pile never shrinks…am I right?

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  • How many hours are you PAID to work each week?
  • How many hours do you actually work each week?
  • How many hours are you overworking each week?
  • How does this impact your love life? Your social life? Your health?

When you overwork, it takes time and energy away from other things you want to do for yourself or with family or friends. Remember, you are replaceable in your work, no matter how overfull your task list is. But you’re not as easily replaceable with your family and friends.

I used to overwork to my breaking point. I was sick often and have 2 specific moments in my life that told me to stop running myself into the ground before I listened. Now I call myself a balanced high performer and I work with other high performers to help them create a life they love outside of work.

5 Tips to STOP Overworking

Reminder: you are here for MORE than your work.

1. Create a work schedule and stick to it.

I talk about this all the time because working in your personal time means thinking about work while getting ready in the morning, working through your lunch, staying late to finish things up, answering emails and texts on the weekends, working DURING your vacation and more.

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This is all work and I want you to ONLY do it during work hours. If you have a thought about work outside of work hours, jot it down on a notepad or put a note in your phone so you can handle it during work hours.

Also, turn off work notifications on your phone so you can enjoy your time away from work to recharge.

Only work during your paid work hours. This is not only good for you but your work as well. Overworking leads to exhaustion, overwhelm and burnout. It stops the best high performers in their tracks. I have a client right now that wants me to hold her accountable to having a leisurely morning to ground her energy before she thinks about work. Normally she thinks about work as she gets ready and it messes up her day. Stop this by working only during your work hours – nothing more.

2. Stop letting your to do list grow.

Having people you work with constantly add to your work list means, you’re overworking. I just spoke with a man in the Navy who overworks because his to do list is never ending and it affects other people’s careers. The problem – you’re human and this is not sustainable.

Who else can take these tasks? Is there someone you can delegate to or an assistant who can take more things off your plate. And if it’s something only you can do, what other tasks can you hand off to someone else that anyone can do?

I’ve helped so many clients with this. By having a huge to do list that grows significantly everyday it helps you feel worthy and enough at work at first. You get things done, you prove yourself, people give you more, it’s a vicious cycle that will burn out every high performer.

Assess your workload.

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Who at your work isn’t getting the work load you are? Why is that?

Is everyone equally slammed with work or are there people doing less than others? In all my experience working in Corporate, at Spas, being self-employed and working with other high performers – not everyone is working the same. Not everyone cares. Those that work hard and care seem to get more – until they can’t handle it.

You don’t get paid for doing more.

You don’t.

You just get more to do than anyone else or to do more than your job description.

I had a client that struggled with this and she started saying no, and if I take this on – I can’t do this task you gave me. She also stopped working on the weekends and less hours. Guess what? She just accepted a VP role in her company. By saying no and drawing boundaries with her to do list, she’s been getting raises and promotions without even trying. She really can’t believe how much easier it all is.

Stop letting your to do list grow. It causes your more stress and anxiety. There is no award for overworking your co-workers. Or if you’re an entrepreneur, you really do have to pace yourself so you make it through your career.

3. Make self-care a part of your day.

Self-care means anything that allows you to recharge your body and mind. It is doing something that GIVES you back the energy you spent at work. If you think about your energy like your cell phone battery, when you run out of energy – there is no back up battery. You start borrowing energy from the next day and so on.

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Think of lunch hour or half an hour as a time for you to fuel your body and reflect on your day. By skipping lunch, you make yourself eat junk that’s laying around and you hit a wall at 3 pm. Plus you keep plugging along when your energy and brainpower won’t be as efficient. Instead, by making self care a part of your day – like taking a lunch every day, this gives you time to fuel your body so you’re not hangry, it allows you to reflect on your morning and assess if you need to tweak your afternoon.

Self-care also looks like getting enough sleep at night and exercising your body. This allows you to show up at work as your best self. Having fun scheduled in with family and friends is also a fun way to boost your energy.

4. Know Your WHY.

Why do you overwork? What are you proving? What does your Success Wound™  drive you to prove: I am worthy? I am enough? I am love? Do you still need to prove anything at this point in your career? Probably not.

I used to overwork to prove my worth and when I did that, all I did was get more work. You can’t constantly prove yourself. It doesn’t work and people typically take advantage of that.

Instead, ask yourself why do I want to take on this task. Does it make sense with my job? My role? My salary? And if you do take it on, what do you take off your plate. Don’t add more to your to do list without handing something back over.

5. Start doing hobbies that bring you joy.

I know, it sounds counter intuitive, but if you just stop working, most high performers have no idea what to do. I watch my retired mother and father-in-law just keep finding work tasks around the house. They can’t sit, be, take time to be present…they work ALL the time. And remember, I said they’re retired.

Part of WHY you work is to bring in money to give you a certain level of a life-style. You want time AND financial freedom. You’re not going to have or feel that if you’re working all the time.

What to do when you’re not working?

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You can find me spending time outdoors hiking, kayaking, walking the beach or sitting in my pool.

Start doing hobbies that bring you joy. Some of my clients have taken up golfing, flower arranging, swimming, Pilates, running, dancing, playing the piano, riding their ebike, playing the guitar, lifting weights, cooking and more.

Find whatever it is for you that gives you a reason to not check your email Saturday morning. You’ll like how this hobby makes you feel. By taking up a hobby, when you think…I should respond to these messages, instead you’ll say, I have class at 9, I’m going to have breakfast and go.

Find things outside of work that bring you joy. You are here for more than your work. You created this lifestyle but you’re not fully living it. Enjoy it!

Stop Hustling and Start Living

How long have you been hustling?

Maybe the better question is – how long have you been overworking?

As a high performer, hustling has become a lifestyle for getting things done and taking on more than is humanly possible or realistic. It’s causing people to feel stressed out, exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious and this can all lead to burnout.

There are so many quotes that glorify husting. Company cultures often encourage it after all, they have a financial benefit of paying you to do the jobs of 1.5-2 people. And if you’re an entrepreneur – you’re told to hustle so you get there faster. Regardless of how you got stuck in the hustle, know this – the hustle is a SHORT TERM solution.

You can do anything for a SHORT

period of time.

When it comes to hustling, you want to look at what are you personally losing by being stuck in the hustle?

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As an entrepreneur with over 2 decades working as a Spiritual Medium & Mentor, I spent a lot of time in my career hustling – which really is just a glorified way to say I was overworking and even more specifically, I was proving my worth. I’d push myself so hard that something would happen to literally force me to stop and slow down. I did this twice before I finally realized – ah, I can’t do this anymore -and I haven’t.

My first hustling aka overworking experience happened my freshman year of college. I was working 3 jobs to put myself through school and I got mono which meant bedrest for weeks and I had to go back into work slowly with a full course load.

You’d think I would have learned, but I didn’t. I kept pushing myself in my work as a Spiritual Medium and Mindset & Energy Coach to help more people. When I wasn’t working with my clients, I was working at a spa to help more people. I was also helping my husband in one of his businesses. Plus I’m a mom and stepmom so if the school needed help, I was there volunteering. I was on a fast path to burnout but I injured myself first – I tore my Achilles Tendon and that forced me to rest my ankle for weeks.

It took me years, but I finally realized that when I push myself to do more, be more, help more, make more, more, more, more…the person I’m really hurting is myself. Can you relate? How is hustling or overworking affecting you? How is it affecting your relationships?

When I used to hustle, I didn’t let it affect my family time or time with my husband. So what did it affect? My personal time. I didn’t have any and most of my clients come to me doing the same thing. I would take time out of my sleep or things that I really wanted to do for me. And of course this just led me to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted with a tinge of bitterness – but I was the one creating this reality for myself.

How do you go from Overworked to Living?

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There are 4 areas I like to help you focus on shifting. I could spend hours talking about this, so I’ll give you 1 tip for each section that you can start implementing immediately.

1. Time

The best way to get more time is to create a work/life balance. Not some imaginary, mystical idea but create boundaries around the time and energy you put into your work whether you work for someone or you’re an entrepreneur.

Create boundaries around your work and don’t let it go into your personal time. Work your allotted work hours and be done. There really isn’t a reward for you to go over and beyond. If you keep overworking, you seem to be the one rewarded with more work that others can’t or won’t do. When you’ve done your work for the day, you’re done until the next day.

2. Relationships

The second area is RELATIONSHIPS. Make time in your schedule to spend with people that bring you JOY. Spend time with people that you love doing things that make you happy. Your memories will last a lifetime, so make lots of fun ones. You’re here for more than your work – no matter how much you love it or how good you are at it.

3. Energy

The third area is ENERGY. Make self-care a priority daily. Often high achieving women say, well I get my hair and my nails done. NO- this isn’t giving you back energy. Think of self-care as a way to recharge your energy. Get enough sleep at night, take naps when you need them, eat the right food for you, exercise, energy work and meditation are all things that will help you recharge. Think – does this give me energy or drain my energy.

4. Mindset

The fourth area is MINDSET. I know – your mindset is amazing – except your mindset is what is driving you to overwork and hustle. What is driving or pushing you to do more? Why do you push yourself so hard? Why are you the one who gets it all done when no one else can? Get to the root of what is driving you so you truly can relax and live this amazing life you’ve worked so hard to create.

My passion truly is helping high performers and achievers to go from overwhelmed and overworked to operating at your next level. You can schedule a Connection Call with me to see how I can support you in achieving this.

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