#relationshiphelp

Together ALL the Time Now? 8 Tips to Create a Happy Home Environment

You’ve been together more than ever before in your relationship. The access to all your usual activities has been altered which means you’ve been stuck at home together and you’re noticing all the problems. Has the house gotten smaller? Have they always gotten on your nerves and pushed your buttons? What new hobbies can they take up? Or better yet, what can you do to get away? There is a new stress on your relationship that being together all the time has brought to the forefront and it’s not working.

Here’s the thing about relationship problems, they don’t disappear if you don’t FIX them. They actually grow and often spiral out of control, creating new problems that make you wonder how you even got to that point. To take the stress off your relationship, start by effectively addressing the problems together with your partner.

Communicating your problems and needs isn’t always easy, but it is harder to fix this later because it’s grown out of proportion. Most people are not mind readers. This means that you can hint, tell others in the hopes they’ll tell your partner, or criticize them and hope for a magical change but it’s not going to happen. They are not a mind reader! To create a change in your relationship, you must communicate and tell them exactly what you would like to see happening. The clearer you are, the more likely you’ll see it happen.

Reduce the Stress in Your Relationship by:

Getting Clear – Get objective by going for a walk, doing a meditation, writing or yoga. What is at the root of the problems in your relationship right now? When did the problems start? How often are they appearing? What can you do to create a change and what can your partner do?
Creating a Space to Talk – Talking to your partner is just as important as the space you talk to your partner in. This isn’t something you want to do before bed, when they’re in the middle of something, or when there are distractions around. You may even want to let them know you’d like to talk so they can gather their talking points as well and not feel ambushed. If you both come together with solutions and willing to make changes, it’ll be a smooth conversation. Choose an environment and setting that feels safe for both of you. Pick a time that allows you ample time for the discussion where you will be uninterrupted.
Talking to Your Partner – This is the thing you don’t want to do, but this is how you take the stress off your relationship and move forward. The key to successful communication is to be clear, honest and focused on your goal of healing the relationship problems. Have specific examples of what is bothering you and specific outcomes on what they can do to alleviate the problem. There will be compromise on both sides. Commit to taking action on the things you both agree to do. Make sure to heal what has to heal in this conversation so neither of you feels they have to bring it up again.
Supporting the Changes – Make sure you create a way that you can support and hold each other accountable. It may be by reminding them that they’re doing something in the moment but because they’ve asked you to remind them, it won’t come across as nagging. Or you can make sure that you are doing the things you said you would, which will help self-motivate them to do what they committed to doing. The goal is to keep each other accountable and moving happily forward and to address it right away when either of you feel the need.
Holding Boundaries– Boundaries are important. They let each of you know what is okay and what isn’t. Your partner should know what your boundaries are and you should know theirs. If you haven’t talked about this, make sure you do. What was okay for a past relationship, may not be okay for this one – but they will only know that when you tell them what your boundaries are. Make sure you honor each other’s boundaries and communicate any problems immediately.
Having More Fun – Schedule in more date nights, self-care and spontaneity. You may try new things or schedule in more things you both enjoy. Focus on doing things that bring you joy individually and as a couple. The better place you are in energetically, the better you’ll show up in your relationship. Ask yourself, “What will bring me joy this week?” and do it!
Practicing Gratitude – How often do you thank your partner or let them know you like something they have done? What you focus on, you attract to you. Most couples focus on the things that aren’t working, but it’s a game changer to focus on the things that are working. One of the most important things you can do in your relationship is let your partner know what you are grateful for. It can be doing the dishes, doing an errand or for making steps towards the change you’ve asked them to make. “Thank you” goes a long way when it’s sincere and coming from a place of gratitude.
Staying Present – One of the biggest mistakes in relationships is that one or both of you don’t let things go. Do not hold onto past problems – heal them, solve them and let them go. Really let them go so they disappear and you have peace with that situation. In a disagreement, only talk about current problems. If you or they keep bringing up the past, it feels toxic and stuck. Focus on this moment and making the most out of it together. This moment creates your next, so if you are in a good place, you’ll keep creating good experiences.

No one wants to be around someone that is unhappy and it’s even worse when they don’t know why you’re unhappy. Being together all the time will amplify the problems you were able to escape or ignore before but they were still there. You just were focusing your energy and time on other things and this has brought them to the forefront.

If you find yourself complaining about your partner, you’re irritated by everything your partner is doing or you’re thinking about ending the relationship because of the problems you’re not discussing, that’s your sign that you really need to have a talk, right away.

Stop hiding from the stress and problems in your relationship and heal it. The only way to go forward together is to stop looking backwards. By communicating your concerns and problems you stop making bigger problems. The faster you address a problem, the better everyone will feel.

Your home should be your happy place. Your safe place. Let’s get it there again!

Ready for some support to shift your energy? You can find my books here. I recommend “Energy Awareness: My Guide to Balanced Relationships” for extra support.

Lisa Gornall is a Spiritual Medium, Healer and Coach. She is also an author, speaker and offers event support and coaching program support for your clients.

Lisa uses her intuitive abilities to coach successful women at or near their breaking point to reset. It’s time to find fulfillment in yourself and in your relationships. It’s time to stop struggling to get through the day and thrive instead. You can have it all and love this amazing life you have created. Ready?

3 Self-Sabotaging Patterns that Cripple Your Revenue & Relationships

Entrepreneurs are special people. They are driven, innovative and adaptive.

The problem is that most entrepreneurs find they aren’t really enjoying the amazing life they’re creating because work goes from being a passion to being everything without even realizing it.

They also get stuck in the mindset they had when they started their business and don’t acknowledge how far they’ve come.

What got you to 6 figures energetically will not get you to 7+ figures.

There are 3 Self-Sabotaging Patterns at the heart of your Success Wound that I see driving every successful entrepreneur that cripple your revenue and relationships. Get objective and look at what is driving you. Are you proving:

1. I Am Worthy

Do you find yourself trying to prove that you are worthy in your work and relationships:

Trying to please other people
You feel better spending money on other people than yourself
Put others needs above your own
Do lots of work for free or low balling it, trying to prove your worth and not feeling like you’re succeeding

2. I Am Enough

Do you find yourself trying to prove that you are enough in your work and relationships:

Buying yourself stuff isn’t the problem, you struggle with enjoying it – buyers remorse
You can put your needs first but find you can’t meet them
Doesn’t matter what goals you crush, the moment you meet it, you’re onto the next one. It’s like you’re on a never-ending hamster wheel and its exhausting…you don’t ever feel like you’re enough or you’re doing enough

3. I Am Love

Do you find yourself trying to prove that you are love in your work and relationships:

In relationships, you don’t feel loved or appreciated and you’re constantly seeking it
You feel bad when others buy you stuff. You may even find you can be an emotional shopper.
By putting others needs above your own you feel resentful and empty and have no energy left. Seeking love makes you feel needy and desperate in work and relationships

Reclaim Your Power

While these beliefs can drive you to increase your income at first as you are proving yourself, they become what limits your income and relationships because they aren’t creating the happiness you are seeking ANYWHERE.

You reach a point where you become a slave to the drive that is pushing you to be worthy, enough and/or love.

Your work becomes a place where you can prove “I am worthy. I am enough. I am love.” but you don’t feel better or heal this without doing the work within because even when you HAVE the money, impact and success you don’t feel like you have it!

You have to get to the root of what is driving you, nothing external will fix this long term:

Energy cannot be manipulated.
What you think and believe, you become.
I am worthy. I am enough. I am love. These are your Universal Truths. Anything telling you otherwise, has to go. It’s time to energetically heal it and allow it to be your truth. You don’t have to prove you are these things because you ARE.
Abundance is a focus on plenty and enough for everyone, not LACK.

If you are successful, you are successful.

BUT if you think you are successful and a minute later think you don’t have any money coming in and I’m going to lose everything or not be able to retire – that’s the energy you are creating. You cripple your revenue with energy stagnation. Stop putting the brakes on your abundance, this is messing with your money, time, relationships and energy.

How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success

You can continue to scale your business without being driven to exhaustion anymore.

This constant drive to achieve more, do more, prove more is what I call your Success Wound and you can learn how to heal it here.
You are worthy. You are enough. You are love. Create an energy practice that you do everyday! This will help you connect with these crucial “I am” statements and create a shift in your income and relationships.
Reclaim your abundance mindset. You are an abundant being living in an abundant Universe. Stop believing anything less.

You have the power to make as much or as little money, impact and success as you would like. You can enjoy it or you can continue to operate from a place of lack.

Lack is a choice you no longer have to choose. Choose to live and focus on what you have and what you are, these are truths and they will change your revenue and relationships for the better: I am worthy. I am enough. I am love.

If you would like a daily reference guide to help you reclaim your time, relationships, inner game and energy, you can get it here.

Lisa Gornall is a Spiritual Medium, Healer and Coach. She is also an author, speaker and offers event support.

Lisa uses her intuitive abilities to coach career driven women at or near their breaking point to reset. Get your head, energy and life on point. Let’s get back to that freedom lifestyle you originally envisioned!

Create Fulfilling Relationships NOW

An area of concern for most successful entrepreneurs I work with is their RELATIONSHIPS or lack of good relationships.

Relationships are a top priority they are struggling with when they start working with me. Not having balance in your relationships throws off your personal life and ends up directly affecting your work life.

The relationships:

Are not fulfilling or supportive
You are exhausted and do not have the energy for them
You don’t have the time for them
You don’t have time for self-care like lunch or a full night’s sleep much less time for date night

Which of these relate to you right now?

Energy is simple. What you put out energetically, you receive back to you. Here are 3 easy practices to help you stop searching and start finding fulfillment in your relationships.

1. Reclaim Your Relationship with YOURSELF

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship.

How you treat yourself is how others will treat you. What you believe about yourself, they will believe. They follow your lead, you set the stage:

If you think you deserve a certain type of relationship or people around you that is the tribe you will attract.
If you believe you aren’t lovable, the people in your relationships will believe that too.
If you feel alone, guess what? No one can take that away from you but YOU. You’ll find yourself surrounded by people that are there but aren’t your people and you will feel alone.
If you feel distance in your relationships, look within first. What within you is it time to shift or is there something you should be doing?
Re-evaluate struggling relationships – are they still a priority, time to put on the back burner or is it time to let them go?

Self-love and self-worth come from within. They determine how much power you feel you have. Power is an energy exchange and ideally, it is EQUAL in all your relationships.

When you find fulfillment in yourself, you are able to create relationships at work and home that are fulfilling, balanced and have boundaries.

No one else can love you enough, value you enough or cherish you enough. It starts with YOU.

How to Reclaim Your Relationship with YOURSELF

Claim your truth:

Begin by knowing in your whole being, “I am love. I am light. I am safe. I am whole.”

I am enough. You do not have to prove yourself in any relationship by your work success.

Let go of any resistance to these statements in your body because these are your energetic truths.

Feel these “I am” statements through your body from the top of your head, through your body, down to your feet and into the Earth.

2. Make Time for Your Relationships

If something is important to you, make time for it.

No one ever says on their deathbed, “I’m so glad I worked all the time.” You do not get time back with people in this life – there is no rewinding the clock to fix relationships that are neglected. You have to be present right now.

Your social life is important for your well being.

While it is great that work is such a passion and brings you joy, you will find that all work and no play does not make you happy for long. You will feel that something is missing.

Schedule time with your partner, family and friends INTO your calendar.

Yes! Block out time for them. This not only gives you time to refresh your energy and mind, but it gives you important time to spend connecting with them.

Say yes to things you would like to do and no to things you do not. Time is valuable. It is important that you make time to do things outside of work that are important, fun or relaxing.

Be Present – Unplug from Technology

Time with those that are important to you should be unplugged. Make sure you don’t have your phone glued to you.

As a successful entrepreneur, you know the importance of replying quickly and staying on top of everything – but a life outside of work is equally important. Your emails, texts and social media will be there waiting for you to do during your SET business hours…not right now.

You can walk into any restaurant and see most people are disconnected from the people they are sitting with. Electronic devices are powerful to connect you with work but not with the people physically present with you.

Nothing is worse than sitting with someone and trying to talk to them while they are more engaged with their device. Or even worse – the other person gets on their device too. Then you have groups of people physically together but not really connecting.

When someone is on their device – they don’t hear you, you don’t feel more important than whatever they are doing on their device and you will eventually choose to not spend your free time with them.

Make time to be present in your relationships. You need a break from work and being present actually makes it feel like time is going by slower not faster.

3. Create Boundaries

Boundaries are so important and are often missing for successful entrepreneurs. They are an important framework for time and actions.

One important boundary to create is around your work and your personal time. Do not work in your designated personal time. Likewise, during your work hours do not work on your personal life. Create clear times to help you be present in both areas.

Create boundaries to let people at work and at home know what is okay and what is not.

Make sure you are firm on the boundaries or people will ignore them.

Respect the boundaries that others set with you as well. Remember to treat others as you would like to be treated and COMMUNICATE your needs and feelings.

As a society, we think that people should know what we want without telling them. The problem is they are not a mind reader. You have to communicate and one way we do that is with boundaries.

How to Create Boundaries:

Let someone know when something is okay or when it is not. I feel ______ when you do ________. Please do not do this anymore.
Energetically STOP taking on everyone’s energy. Just because someone is in your presence does not mean you have to let their energy pour into you, especially when they are negative or not in a good place. You have enough on your plate already. Do not allow their energy into your being, you can say in your mind, “No thank you.” Imagine energetically pushing their energy gently back to them where it belongs.
If someone is challenging your boundary (which will happen in old relationships) remind them of the boundary and be firm. If they continue to ignore the boundary sometimes space is needed or it is time for the relationship to end.
Follow the boundaries you create. There is no point in creating a boundary you will not enforce and make sure you respect other people’s boundaries as well. What goes around, comes around energetically.

Above are three easy practices you can start doing TODAY to stop searching and find fulfillment in your relationships. I have a whole book dedicated to supporting you in creating healthy, fulfilling and balanced relationships.

Relationships are important. Start using these practices daily to reclaim your relationships.

I am love. I am whole. I create fulfilling relationships.

Here is a cheat sheet to support you in reclaiming your time, relationships, inner game and energy each day.

Start living a successful, fulfilling and balanced life. It begins with YOU.