“I don’t want to deal with it.”
“If I ignore it, it’ll go away.”
“I don’t have the time to deal with this.”
“I don’t know what to do about ____, so I’ll just wait and see what happens.”
None of these statements will make your problems disappear. Problems don’t just disappear – they grow.
The stories I have heard as a Spiritual Medium through the years! Something so little can quickly destroy a marriage, a partner, a work or family connection and irreparably burn bridges and it’s often completely preventable!!!
Unfortunately they often take on a life of their own and end up being way bigger than they started. The answer isn’t ignoring them – unless you want a much bigger and often unrelated problem later. The answer is ADDRESSING the problem as quickly as possible – even if you are a drama avoider.
Your focus should be on love and getting more love back into the relationship. It boils down to communication. You must communicate with the other person and listen to them. Communication is KEY and it’s the only way you will find a solution.
How to Address a Relationship Problem
- Listen and understand. This doesn’t mean you agree with their side, but to have a common ground, you have to understand where they are coming from just as they should understand where you are coming from. Listen to listen. Don’t just sit there thinking about what you want to say or how wrong they are. Find a common ground.
- Pay attention. Most people do not like confrontation and will do whatever they can to avoid it. If someone is coming to you with a problem, give it your undivided attention now and I promise you, it won’t get to be a bigger problem later. A lot of my clients do NOT like confrontation. But ignoring a problem will inevitably bring you drama and more problems. Instead, address it and move forward as quickly as possible.
- Speak clearly. Do not tell them what they want to hear to just make this go away. Say what you mean to say and do what you say you will do. “I feel ___”, is the most powerful statement you can give someone to help them understand where you are coming from. It’s not facts, it’s how you feel and it has to be acknowledged and addressed. People do not want to be guessing how you feel or what you’re struggling with. When you communicate real solutions, everyone is happier.
- Be aware of your triggers. Whenever there are relationship problems, it’s always easiest to point your finger at someone else – but this doesn’t fix, change or solve anything. Notice what you are bringing to the conversation and is it elevating the relationship or bringing it down? It is your job and responsibility to energetically be aware of what you are holding onto and why as this affects your relationships.
- Make a plan. The problem will not go away if you keep doing the same things repeatedly. Make a plan that you both agree to (compromise will likely be involved) and hold each other lovingly to your agreement. The goal is to move forward, not stay stuck in the past.
- Focus on the problem at hand. Not every problem you’ve had over the decades – each problem is addressed individually, a solution is found, and you both move forward. You only bring it up again if they aren’t doing what they committed to doing and make sure you are committed to your promises. Do not keep bringing up the same problem, especially when they bring a problem to you. This shows that you are staying stuck in the past and not willing to move forward with them.
Your relationship goal is to be happy! Not angry, bitter or scheming ways to punish the other person. That makes everyone miserable and creates more problems. Let’s get back to love, peace and happiness in your relationships.
The only way to go forwards is to stop looking backwards. Work together and stop fighting each other. The faster you address a problem, the better everyone will feel.
Ready for some support to shift your energy? You can find my books here.
Lisa Gornall is a Spiritual Medium, Healer and Coach. She is also an author, speaker and offers event support and coaching program support for your clients.
Lisa uses her intuitive abilities to coach successful women at or near their breaking point to reset. Get your head, energy and life on point. Let’s get back to that freedom lifestyle you originally envisioned! Reset.
www.lisagornall.com All Rights Reserved Lisa Gornall 2021